When cancer happens to someone you love, it can feel daunting and overwhelming. Give yourself time and space to process your feelings. This post offers you some tips on how to cope when your loved one has cancer, and it starts with you.

Reach out

Get in touch with friends and family. Let them know how they can best support you and your loved one. Communicate openly and honestly about your desire to help and what you need to do that.

Let them know that you are there for them, and that you are willing to listen whenever they need to talk. Encourage them to share their feelings, but also be mindful of their boundaries.

Remember that everyone copes with difficult situations differently, and what works for you may not work for them.

Get informed

Resources are available through the doctor’s office and in the community. Many cancer hospitals have social workers or therapists available to support you and your loved one.  If not, there are resources available online, through the American Cancer Society and other organizations, that can help.  

Attend doctor’s appointments with your loved one. Cancer treatments can be uncomfortable and scary. Having someone there to take notes and ask questions can be incredibly helpful.

Going to appointments also shows your loved one that you are there to support them, and can help them feel more comfortable during a difficult time.

Take yourself for a walk.

It helps to get outdoors and moving, even for a few minutes each day. Regular exposure to sunlight and fresh air helps your physical health and your mindset.

Develop a self-care routine.

Do what feels good and nurturing to you for 5-10 minutes a day. It could be a daily gratitude journal, quiet time for meditation/prayer, listening to relaxing music, or taking a bubble bath.

Allow yourself to take a break.

The pressure of supporting your loved one through their diagnosis and treatment can be incredibly stressful. Remember that it's okay to take time for yourself, whether that means scheduling a day off work, treating yourself to a movie, or just taking a nap.

Taking a break allows you to recharge and be better equipped to support your loved one.

Give yourself permission to feel and experience your emotions in a safe way.

Often the hardest part of this journey is learning how to manage all the feelings that come up. Seek support from a therapist or support group.

Talking to someone who is experienced in working with cancer patients and their families can be incredibly helpful. Therapy or support groups provide a safe space for you to talk about your feelings and connect with others who are going through a similar experience.

Be patient with yourself and your loved one.

It's important to remember that cancer is a complex disease, and everyone's experience with it is different. There may be times when you feel frustrated or overwhelmed, but it's important to be patient with yourself and your loved one.

Take things one day at a time, and remember that with time, things will get better.

A common tendency to bottle or suppress feelings might seem like the right thing to do to avoid “burdening” others, but unfortunately, it often makes those feelings stronger which is not helpful to you or your loved one. Find a friend, family member, or professional whom you trust, to work through these difficult emotions.

In summary, dealing with a loved one's cancer diagnosis can be an emotional and challenging experience.

However, by reaching out for support, taking care of your emotional and physical health, and communicating openly with your loved one, you can help to make the journey a little bit easier.

Remember to take things one day at a time, and be patient with yourself and your loved one.