How to Manage Challenging Relationships

Difficult relationships within our friend and family circle can cause significant distress and make us doubt ourselves. While dealing with these relationships is not an easy feat, implementing the following strategies can help you manage them more effectively and improve your mental wellbeing. Here are some strategies to help you stay grounded during uncomfortable encounters with people you care about.

1.    Remember to breathe and notice your breath.

This will keep you anchored in the present moment, and focused on the message you want to deliver. Mindful breathing can help you stay calm and centered during difficult conversations. Try inhaling deeply through your nose and exhaling slowly through your mouth.

Repeat this process a few times until you feel more relaxed.

For example, if you're having a heated argument with a family member, taking a deep breath and focusing on your breath can help you stay calm and centered. You can also use this technique in any situation where you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed.

2.    Don’t be afraid to set some ground rules!

First, communicate your concerns in a non-judgemental way. Ask your friend or family member to listen to your concerns and reflect back what they hear. Then, it’s your turn to listen and do the same. Focusing on understanding will help to avoid future conflict, and grow your relationship.

Focusing on understanding each other can help you avoid future conflicts and deepen your relationship.

For example, if you're having a disagreement with a friend, you can ask them to listen to your concerns and then reflect back what they heard to make sure they understand your point of view. Then, it's your turn to listen to their concerns and do the same.

3.    Maintain healthy boundaries.

Setting and maintaining boundaries is about respecting yourself and others. It’s okay to say “no,” when you’re already stretched too thin, and need time for yourself.

If direct communication about your boundaries and needs is ineffective, then ask yourself about the value you place on this relationship.

Boundaries are an essential part of any relationship.

Be clear about your limits and respect the limits of others.

For example, if a family member keeps asking you for money, you can say "no" and let them know that you have to prioritize your own needs. You can also set limits on how much time you spend with someone who drains your energy or causes you stress.

4.    Not all relationships are healthy and supportive.

Relationships can be complicated, but if your attempts to work on it are going unnoticed or unappreciated, and you feel like you’re doing all the work, then it may be time to see a professional.  

For example, if you have a friend who constantly criticizes you or puts you down, despite your attempts to work on the relationship, it may be time to see a therapist or counselor to explore your options and develop coping strategies.

5.    Stay connected with people who support you.

It’s helpful to have people in your corner with whom you can safely process your emotions, and who challenge you to ask difficult questions. Surround yourself with people who support you and your personal growth.

These people can be friends, family members, or even a therapist.

For example, if you have a friend or family member who always listens to you and provides constructive feedback, make sure to stay in touch and nurture that relationship.

6. Remember that help is available.

If all your efforts are falling short and you need more assistance with your relationship, then it may be time to contact a professional. Seeking help from a mental health professional can be beneficial when dealing with challenging relationships.

A professional can provide you with additional tools and strategies for managing these types of relationships and can offer a safe space for you to process your emotions.

If you've tried everything to improve a relationship and it's still causing you significant distress, seeking the help of a therapist or counselor can provide additional guidance and support.

Remember, setting boundaries and seeking help when needed is a sign of strength, not weakness. You have the power to take control of your relationships and improve your mental wellbeing.